


Awkward Smalltalk

by snapealina



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Gen, Infertility
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-19
Updated: 2016-02-19
Packaged: 2018-05-21 16:14:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 597
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6057802
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/snapealina/pseuds/snapealina
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Severus Snape is subjected to the most awkward conversation.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Awkward Smalltalk

**Author's Note:**

> Another quick fic challenge from 2010  
> Prompt: childlessness/infertility  
> Fic must contain the following words: wax candles, cake, lube  
> Max 600 words
> 
> Warning: Probably the weirdest fic I have ever written... But what would you expect with this pairing and this prompt?  
> Disclaimer: I don't own them, thank Merlin. Poor Severus if I did...

There it was again, that awful sound. Severus wanted nothing more than to put a silencing charm on that damn woman, but previous experiences kept him from doing so. Wasn’t it enough that she had brought one of her scented candles with her? The smell was unbearable. What was wrong with the ordinary wax candles in the staff room?

 

Severus scowled. What was wrong with her? Couldn’t she tell that he wanted peace and quiet? Everyone knew that! And she called herself a seer? Severus snorted. Perhaps being cooped up in the North tower all these years had made her lose her ability to see what was straight in front of her.

 

Sibyll Trelawney sighed loudly once more and Severus couldn’t take it anymore. He put down his paper and looked sternly at her. “Must you do that?” he said annoyed.

 

The woman merely moaned again.

 

“Trelawney, seriously.” Severus hissed. “Will you stop doing that?”

 

Trelawney started sobbing.

 

That was the last thing Severus wanted to happen. “Why are you sobbing like that? Did some of the children eat your crystal ball or something?”

 

Sibyll Trelawney sobbed even louder. “Children.”

 

“What about them?” Severus asked. He wondered what made him bother with this woman in the first place. All he wanted was some peace and quiet before the next lesson, and this woman was standing in his way.

 

“I don’t have any. And I never will.” Trelawney cried into her handkerchief.

 

“What?” Snape couldn’t believe his own ears. Was Trelawney sitting here complaining to him about not having kids? This was just too absurd.

 

He got up from his chair and was about to leave the room.

 

“Don’t you want children, Snape?” the woman managed to stutter.

 

Severus turned around. “Why would I?”

 

“Why wouldn’t you?” Trelawney asked back. “It would be magnificent to have a person that is a part of you, to be able to love that person so unconditionally?”

 

“And crying and diapers and all that? No, thank you.” Severus snorted back. “I have enough trouble with these mongrels here. I don’t want that on my free time as well.”

 

“Oh, I would love to have children, but it’s not like I’m going to meet anyone that will have them with me,” she sighed.

 

Severus got nervous. He really hoped Trelawney wouldn’t ask him to have children with her. The thought of it made Severus throw up a little in his mouth.

 

“No, the thought of it really isn’t very appealing.” Severus stated before Trelawney could say anything else. “I don’t like the thought of a little person running around my chambers. Merlin knows what he or she might do of damage. I’m having enough trouble with Longbottom.”

 

Trelawney giggled a little by the last comment. “Well, that’s your opinion, Snape. I would love to have a little boy or a girl to keep me company in the tower,” she said dreamily.

 

“Can’t you just have someone else to come to your little tea and cake parties?” Snape mumbled. He really wasn’t comfortable with the idea of Trelawney reproducing. “No, my life has definitely no room for children. I don’t have time to watch a little creature running around. Those things can move pretty fast, you know. What will I do when it gets hold of the lube from my nightstand or any of the potions ingredients?”

 

“Lube?” Trelawney widened her eyes. “Why do you have lube in your bedroom? I didn’t know that you – “

 

“Oh, look at the time. I have to go.” Severus Snape said and stormed out of the staff room.


End file.
